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Perfectionism & Performance Patterns

Self-handicapping

Creating obstacles or excuses that protect you from being fully evaluated.

Reviewed by licensed therapists

What it is

Self-handicapping is when you consciously or unconsciously create challenges that undermine your success, especially when you’ll be evaluated. You might procrastinate, underprepare, stay up too late, take on too much, avoid asking for help, or keep things chaotic so that if the outcome isn’t good, there’s an explanation besides “maybe I wasn’t good enough.” It protects self-worth in the short term, but it also prevents you from building true confidence.

Additional resources to explore: CBT can help identify beliefs around failure, evaluation, and self-worth. ACT can help you tolerate the vulnerability of honest effort and make genuine efforts aligned with your values. Coaching or structured accountability can also help if self-handicapping shows up mainly through procrastination or overcommitment.

Tips / how to work on it

The key is to notice the protective excuse before it becomes the story. Ask, “Am I making a genuine effort? Or am I creating obstacles or explanations as to why I can’t be fully evaluated?” Then choose one way to remove the obstacle: start earlier, ask for help, get enough rest, simplify the task, or reduce competing commitments. This may feel scarier because it means your effort is more visible, but it also gives you more honest information about your ability.

A useful exercise: use a genuine attempt plan. Pick one task and define what a fair attempt would look like: enough time, basic preparation, reasonable support, and no intentional sabotage. Afterward, evaluate the process, not just the outcome. The goal is to practice letting yourself try without building in an escape hatch.

More reading

Educational, not diagnostic.