Pursue–withdraw cycle

What is it?

One person pushes for closeness or resolution while the other pulls away, reinforcing both reactions.

How do people work on it?

Patterns often ease when people bring gentleness and structure to what they notice.

Start by naming the pattern without judgment, then remind yourself that noticing it is already a useful first step.

Writing the thought down, checking what is actually known, taking a few slow breaths, or asking for support can help create enough space to respond differently.